An Edmonton Fairy Tale Episode 2: Love Found Again

By Ryan Allers & Patrick Earl

Guest Starring Jen Pawluk (with an appearance by Kinleigh the Nurse)

After Ryan drove home after leaving his beloved mug on the side of the road, he started thinking about the mug; about her beauty and presence. And it occurred to him that he made the wrong decision. So he decided to go back and try to ask her forgiveness.

Well, it had been a while since he had left her (4 weeks to be exact), so he didn't know where to begin looking for her. 'I may as well start where I left her in the first place', he thought.

When he reached the spot he left her, he saw something most horrible: she, in despair, had not moved from the spot he had left her a month before, and her limbs and head had frozen, and disintegrated.

Thankfully, she was still breathing (barely), so Ryan rushed her to the Medicentre. . .
where Kinleigh the Nurse operated on Ryan's object of affection. After many hours of surgery, she implanted on the mug new arms, legs, head, and attire.
   

When the mug awoke, after the surgery, she was very angry with Ryan. And did she not have every right to be? They spent a lovely evening together having dinner, going shopping, and enjoying each other's company. And then, all of a sudden, she found herself on the curb, Ryan-less and unhappy; unhappy because she was now Ryan-less. And the worst of all is that he didn't even tell her why. Considering life no longer worth living without her dear Ryan, she decided to remain outside in the cold because that is how she had felt: cold inside.

Since she loved him so much, however, and since he apologized for his actions and pleaded for her love, she took him back.

3 months later. . . At Ryan's friend's house, Ryan and the mug often enjoy an afternoon nap in eachother's arms.
They seem to be quite happy, no? Well they are. . . But there is one person in this tale of love that has been left out until now: Jen, the mug's true owner.

But there's more. (I know, how could there possibly be more to this gripping tale? Well there is!) Jen has been in love with Ryan for years, and is terribly jealous of the mug (that she owns), as she (the mug) now has ownership of Ryan's heart. (I told you there was more)

Fuming with furious rage when she discovered that Ryan and the mug were together, Jen made the decision to kick the mug's butt in a wrestling match the world has never seen before. Her plan was simple: storm into Ryan and the mug's new house, and kick the mug's butt in a wrestling match the world has never seen before.

So while Ryan and the mug were enjoying one of their regular afternoon naps (also known as siestas), Jen carried out her plan, startling Ryan and the mug.

And before Ryan and the mug knew it, Jen had made her way into the house. Boy was Jen mad. . . and Ryan was frightened.
   
"He's mine now," said the mug.

"No," said Jen.

"Yes," said the mug.

"I'm afraid not," said Jen.

Jen and the mug carried on for hours like this, "yes", "no", "yes", "no", until the mug challenged Jen to a wrestling match

'It's all going according to plan,' thought Jen as she eyed down the mug. "I accept!"

   
Not knowing exatly how to start a wrestling match, Jen and the mug decided that Ryan would begin it with a wave of his hand. He was afraid to look, however, so the second he waved his hand, he made for the closest corner of the room.
Something that Jen did not realize, however, is that the mug was an expert in "Matrix" style fighting.
And so after a few seconds the fight was over. . .
and the mug was victorious!
So after the mug handed Jen a sound butt kicking and threw her out of the house, Ryan and the mug went back to the couch for their afternoon nap. And since Ryan was still all shaken up over the fight and terribly frightened, the mug comforted him and sang him sweet songs until he drifted off to sleep, in her powerful and loving arms.
THE END